From babies and toddlers, to first-time parents and beyond, Dr. Miriam is the parenting guru that millions of mums and dads trust. Read on to see Dr. Miriam's answers to your questions on parenting & childcare.
I'm expecting a baby soon but it looks like I'm going to end up being a single mum. I'm currently in a real state because my relationship's falling to pieces and I can't work out whether it's going to be a good thing or a bad thing for me or the baby. Can you help?
In the first instance, don't panic about being a single mum. There are many positive things about being a single parent and your baby won't be affected by it. Here are just some of them:
- You've made the right decision if you're a single parent because your relationship has ended - it's better for your baby to live with one contented person than two who are quarrelling.
- You'll become a stronger more independent person because caring for a baby alone is a great achievement.
- Single parents tend to bond much more closely with their babies because they don't have to share their love between a partner and a child.
- Grandparents, aunts and uncles often get more involved and supportive if there's only one parent and the baby benefits from all that extra love.
I hope that you find your feet soon enough and enjoy your new, independent life with your baby.
We recently had our first child but it's been very tough on both of us. We're tired, often cross with each other and don't seem to have any time for ourselves. What are we doing wrong?
If you're trying your best to rear your baby then you aren't doing anything wrong. A new baby isn't all plain sailing. Instead of bringing them together, many couples are shocked to discover that having a baby can highlight slight differences that can cause friction.
Most new parents underestimate the amount of work and disruption caring for a baby entails. They also underestimate the extent to which this can affect their relationship.
Many dads say that paternal feelings can take a long time to develop, whereas most new Mums bond strongly with their babies within a few days and - of course - are much more fully involved in childcare from the outset. Look upon the first few weeks and months as a period, a phase, during which you both grow into parenthood and begin to lay the foundations of your new roles. Don't forget to make time for yourselves: take up any offers of babysitting, have time-outs together (however short) and evenings together. You'll find that, even if it's been tough at first, you'll begin to relish parenthood after a while.
When my child's ill with a fever, should she stay in bed?
Take your lead from your child. There's no need to keep a child with a fever in bed, though she should stay in a draught-free room where the temperature is fairly constant. The room doesn't have to be particularly hot - if it's comfortable for you, it should be warm enough for your child.
An ill child will want to sleep a lot, but when she's awake she'll want to be with you - make up a bed for her in the room where you're working so that she can see and hear you.
This will also be easier for you as you won't have to keep running to and from her room. If your child is very tired, it's better to put her to bed. But remember to go and visit her regularly so that she doesn't feel left out. While she's ill, waive discipline and give her some treats too. She deserves them!
I know it's good for kids to get fresh air and exercise, but with my two young ones, sometimes it's hard just getting out of the front door. Have you any suggestions as to how I could make life a bit easier?
When planning an outing always try to consider what your child's personality can cope with best. If you have a quiet child who has a long concentration span, you can take her to a flower show or antique market and point out the things around her. If she is very active she'll enjoy a trip to a zoo, fair or playground. Make sure you take enough drinks and snacks to keep your toddler happy for the whole of the trip.
- Time spent in planning your outing is never wasted. The younger your baby is the more you'll have to plan.
- Lightweight changing bags containing a portable changing mat are a boon.
- Plan your route so that you know where you can stop, where you can change your baby, and where you can feed her without inconvenience.
- Take a friend or your partner with you if you can, so there's always an extra pair of hands and someone to help should you get into a scrape.
- If you're travelling on public transport, avoid the rush hour.
- Always ask for help from other passengers if you need it. And don't be embarrassed to ask someone to give up their seat: standing with a baby is dangerous.
Is television bad for my child?
Many children spend quite a lot of time watching television - some as much as four or five hours a day. Too much television can leave no time for reading, hobbies and other activities, and recently concern has been voiced that pre-school children are missing out on developing social skills such as speaking and group interaction. However, there are positive things that children get from television.
- Television can have a powerful educational effect, especially when parents make sure children have opportunities to talk over what they have seen.
- If you are concerned about the quality of what your child watches you can use your video to build up a library of good quality programmes.
- Watching recorded programmes is a way of getting her used to the idea of watching something specific rather than just whatever happens to be on.
- Remember that if you do want to reduce the amount of time your child spends in front of the television, you need to set an example. You may need to alter your own viewing habits in order to change hers.
Baby's First Skills
Learn how to encourage your child’s developing skills with this complete guide to learning through play. Find out how to bring out your baby’s potential by following The Golden Hour principle of structured play each day.
