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| 1. Ideally, you want your baby to be: |
a. Held lovingly by you in constant skin-to-skin contact, because every moment is a wonderful, bonding opportunity.
b. In a cot close by in case she needs you at night.
c. As far away as possible. |
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2. Your volatile boss insists you attend his office party while your partner is in labour. You say: |
a. “Keep up that talk and it’ll be your funeral.”
b. “Sorry I can’t make it, but we wonder if you would like to be a godfather?”
c. “Great. The missus and the baby should be along later if they get a move on.” |
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| 3. Your partner asks whether you prefer Huggies. Do you: |
a. Consult your copy of What Nappy Weekly?
b. Tell her that you will change nappies but she can choose them?
c. Think this is a come-on line and start humming “Tonight’s the night”?
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4. As a dad, you want to be like: |
a. Mufasa, the Lion King.
b. Homer Simpson
c. Captain Hook |
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| 5. Your baby wakes up for the tenth time in the night. Do you: |
a. Merrily jump out of bed singing “Let’s Rock Around the Clock Tonight”?
b. Sleep until your partner finishes breastfeeding, then wind the baby?
c. Hide under the duvet, showing all the enthusiasm of an ageing sloth? |
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6. You think the typical child is: |
a. Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.
b. Ron Weasley in Harry Potter.
c. Damien in The Omen. |
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| 7. Your baby pukes on your best suit. You say: |
a. “My darling baby, no fragrance is as lovely as yours. Wait till I show this to everyone in the office.”
b. “I've always hated pinstripes.”
c. “I've always hated babies.” |
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8. You hear that babies cost a fortune. Your reaction is: |
a. “I don't care, even if it means trading in the Porsche for a lown mower.”
b. “Time we got the grandparents to chip in a bit financially.”
c. “Really! How much can we sell this one for?” |
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