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Don't fight change |
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Your taste in clothes
varies over time; so do your sexual tastes and needs,
keep your partner up to date and they won't feel threatened
or left behind. |
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Work on your self-esteem
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The happier you are
with who you are, the more likely you are to speak up.
Check there's no power imbalance in your relationship.
The one who makes the sexual moves is usually the one
who calls the shots. |
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Build intimacy outside the bedroom |
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Let your partner see
the ‘real you' - especially the silly, awkward bits. If
you feel like doing Britney impressions, dancing around
the living room, do it! The more often they see the not-so-glam-or-in-control
you, the more they'll relax. |
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Remove any blame
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If the problem is that
one of you wants sex more, don't persecute the ‘less sexy'
partner or accuse the other one of being a ‘sex maniac'.
It's no-one's fault. It's a problem the two of you have,
so solve it as a couple together. |
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Both work out what you're upset about |
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Have a good old think
solo before getting together to talk about it. Try to think of
solutions, not just the problem. If you're upset because
he's not spending enough time on foreplay, spell out exactly
what you'd like more of. Then talk it through. |
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Don't avoid sex, keep on having it
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Most sex problems turn
into longterm dramas when the couple avoid the bedroom
and refuse to admit there's a problem. |
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Break your relationship routine
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Start off small: suggest
you go to the movies instead of renting that video. Have
sex in the spare room instead of your own. New experiences
leave us feeling refreshed and pay dividends. |
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